This week my Timehop app brought back memories of starting our first IVF cycle. It was just a year ago that we jumped on the road to our sweet girl. I can remember how excited we were to finally get to start that cycle, that it was finally time for everything we had been looking forward to. We were so optimistic about what was to come and were thinking only positive thoughts. We had been so anxious for that time to come for so long and were so anxious to see how it all played out. That was the start of a roller coaster of a year.
Realizing that we started our first IVF cycle only a year ago simply blew my mind. Last year at this time truly feels like a decade ago if I’m being honest. Last year felt like it lasted a century and that there was no end in sight. This humbles me. It is truly amazing that many times in the last year it really just felt like the end of the world that the rain wouldn’t stop pouring and there was no clarity as far as we could see and then all of a sudden, it stopped and we were blessed with exactly what we’d been praying for and fighting for all along.
This past week last year we were anxious, as I mentioned, and the funny thing is, this year during the same time we were also anxious. We were anxiously waiting for Thursday to roll around so that we could finally be halfway through this pregnancy. We hit 20 weeks this week! I feel like this pregnancy has flown by but at the same time I feel like it has taken forever. When I think about it, August seems so far away but when I think about just another 20 weeks, it seems like it’s within reach. It’s all a mental game, right?
I think we both are still in awe that this is our story and this is our reality – 20 weeks with our little lady. Instead of worrying about how to administer different meds and feeling uneasy about what is the future, we have the opportunity to decorate a nursery, to feel all sorts of quivers and rumbles in my tummy from our busy girl, Daddy finally got to feel baby girl kick for the first time last night, to name a real child (yes, she has a name already <3), to create registries and talk about the shower, and to talk about our very near future with a baby in tote. We made it halfway through and that’s half the way until mama can have a glass of wine and snuggle this little human that has already given us so much joy.