You know how people talk about pregnancy brain well currently I am suffering from IVF brain. It’s a real thing and I’m pretty sure my brain has gone missing.
Last cycle I didn’t really feel like this was a huge issue. There were a couple times I would put something down, walk away and a few seconds later ask my husband what I did with said object and he’d give me a strange look and say “uhhhh, right there?” Ooops, yes, yes honey, that is exactly where I put it, you’re right. *face palm* But really, I never felt super off, I just had some ‘blonde’ moments, if you will.
This cycle though is a completely different story. If I’m being at all honest, I’m impressed that I made it home from my acupuncture (yes, I’m doing acupuncture for Ranger but more on that in a later post) appointment in one piece or that I didn’t get lost en route. Monday I put my frozen meal in the fridge and when I went to look for it at lunchtime, I was extremely frustrated that someone ate my lunch. But then I found it in the fridge, so all was good except for that brain of mine. Today I ran one red light and about ran the other from just being in a fog. I was looking right at the light and still managed to run it.
I haven’t felt like myself this last week and haven’t quite felt like my body is mine anymore (which when you go through IVF, your body doesn’t feel like yours for the duration because your medical staff is in complete control over it). I feel like I’ve been in a complete fog and everything is a bit hazy. I’ve messaged my husband a few times and asked him when it was his turn to feel this way because I wasn’t sure if I could take it anymore. He always reassures me that I can do it and if he could take a turn, he would in a heartbeat to give me a break. What a man, right? 🙂
We haven’t given many updates this cycle but all in all, it has been a lot kinder to my body than the last was. We have found our peace with our last transfer failing and have chosen to focus on Ranger and our next transfer date (which has been given to us and will share at a later time). If I have to feel like I’m in a constant fog/haze and like my brain has gone out the window 24/7 for Ranger to be our take home baby, then I will do it with no hesitations.
*disclosure: if this sounds like a jumbled mess, I’m blaming IVF brain – HA!*