A few weeks ago something that popped up on my Timehop App reminded me that it’s been a full year since we found out that if we wanted to conceive, IVF would be our only choice. Believe me when I tell you that this last year felt like a century. There were days, sometimes weeks, that I had no idea if we would ever get to where we are now. There were times that I simply wanted to lay in bed all day and hide from the world. I was filled with so many mixed emotions when that memory popped up. I can remember how sure I was that IVF would be easy for us. I was confident that we wouldn’t be one of those couples who it took multiple tries and multiple retrievals to conceive. Honestly, I was completely naive about it.
But, what a difference a year can make, right? Here we are 16 weeks pregnant with our baby girl and there is something so sweet sitting in our house right now, a crib. This is something that others may so easily overlook or simply go through the motions putting the crib up, feeling the excitement and onto the next thing. But to me, this crib means everything to me. There were multiple times in the last year that I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance to walk into one of the extra rooms in our home and see a crib sitting there.
My husband laughs at me because I walk back there just to see the nursery coming along, just to see the crib, just to open the closet and see all the tiny items we (well mostly, I. It’s been a problem, let’s not talk about it :)) have purchased thus far, and just to squeeze that tiny pig in the cribs tummy to hear our little miracle’s heartbeat. I have loved every single minute of this pregnancy and growing this little human of ours. Even when my head was checking the inside of the toilet bowl multiple times a day, I still loved it because I vividly remember the hurt, heartbreak and desperation we had for this baby.
There is nothing better than having a crib set up in our home. We have felt such an immense joy for the last 16 weeks, and frankly, the last time I felt this joyful and this happy was the day I married my husband (cheesy, I know). I thank God for giving us strength to endure the last year and for putting an army of wonderful people in our lives to get us to this point.
So for the next 24 weeks, I’ll be soaking up the view of our sweet girl’s crib and dreaming of what it is going to be like to have her here in our lives and adjusting to a life of a family of 3.